conflict, stress and authenticity

May 27, 2016

As an emergency/trauma nurse in New York City’s busiest hospitals, I saw firsthand the profound damage from illness caused by energy draining conflicts.

Conflict causes stress which burdens the adrenal glands and overworks your immune system. In my energy speak, I say that conflict “lowers your vibration.”

Each illness has a specific low vibration—it’s how I tell them apart and can discern diabetes from an under active thyroid or cancer. I am sensing and Reading the vibration in your body. So naturally, we want to keep our vibration as high and healthy as possible.

Feeling caught in an ongoing tug of war between the life affirming messages from your spirit—clearly intent upon your highest good, and the unconscious programming and rules about what you are supposed to want and how you should behave, can significantly lower your vibration.

These rules—learned throughout your life, were often taught with good intentions from elders and caregivers. Rules like a strong man doesn’t cry, or a good woman takes care of her family before herself, not only limit your authenticity, but can also limit your exceptionality and even cause you to disregard your needs.

Needing to express your grief and pain with tears, or wanting to take care of yourself shouldn’t cause a battle inside of you, or make you feel like something is wrong with you just because you need or want something slightly out of the norm.

These internal conflicts are sometimes hard to spot. Yes, your stomach might churn, a headache might visit, or even a tiredness may overtake you, as you dread making a final decision.

While the physical symptoms are easy to notice, especially in the middle of the night when there are fewer distractions from your supposed no-win situation, there are ways to deal with the conflict before you get the headache. Here are a few steps to help you diagnose and resolve a conflict before your body gets your attention. It’s a form of preventive medicine.

Step 1:

Listen for tell-tale words in your vocabulary. If you hear yourself saying such phrases as “I should…I have to…I’m supposed to…I must….I have no choice…,” it is a sure sign that you’re doing something not because you want to, but because you feel it’s expected of you.

It’s time to sit still and ask yourself, “what is my Truth; do I really want to go to dinner with my friend [who leaves me drained] or would I rather take time for myself to rest and recharge?”

Step 2:

Check in with yourself and get real about your feelings. What do you truly want to do? Stay home? And does that make you feel guilty? [more about that guilt in a moment]. Feeling guilty is a clear sign you are perched between a rock and a hard place and stress is beginning to build.

Step 3:

Identify your limiting tribal belief that’s behind your stress. I recommend you get a copy of my book, “Sacred Choices,” and you will easily see the beliefs that are causing your guilt. Limiting beliefs such as “a good friend stays loyal, especially if you’ve been friends for a long time, or they’ve been there for you during a difficult time and you owe them” can make you feel torn when you are tired and need to stay home and rest. Your heart yearns for rest, but your head says “Just suck it up and go, even if it leaves you feeling tired and drained. You can rest later.”

Let me warn you that in the beginning it can feel difficult to step away from what you believe others want or expect from you, and instead, listen to your growing spirit that knows what would make you happy.

And you might create a karfufle or two. You are breaking age-old rules and that scares people. You may get push back, criticism, or judgement from others when you go off script. What will your tribe think of you? Will they think you are rebellious and perhaps even a bad person to step out of the mold and think such thoughts?

Possibly, but I’ll applaud you because it surely puts you in good company. Did you know that at one time society believed the world was flat and that women could not be good surgeons because they were too emotional?

One at a time, the risk takers are guiding our future to a higher level. Are you one of those courageous and authentic people who are willing to take a risk and speak your truth to help our world evolve?

I am because I know that well-behaved women [and men] rarely make history.

Someone has to step out of the mold for us to embrace our exceptionality and grow as a society. The more exceptional people we have, the faster our world evolves.

Preventive medicine to reduce stress
Preventive medicine to reduce stress

To help you change your Limiting Tribal Beliefs and find your exceptionality, I am putting my CD “Tribal Beliefs Limit Your Exceptionality” on super sale for only $5 plus shipping. To order, go to www.christelnani/products and enter in code “freedom.”